Try stair kickturns to preserve momentum

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The same principle as the swimming tumble turn — works nicely on stairs too.

Published 9 Jul 2013

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I’ve long been intrigued by the innocuous power of Little Openings. Say you are walking down a corridor with your hands full of papers and books. Before long, they start to slip. As you try to stabilise the falling papers, the rest go down in a clatter and flutter. However, a passerby in the corridor kneels down to help you pick everything up. They say hello. You say thank you. You each introduce yourselves, maybe exchange a laugh. You go on your way, books and papers in hand, feeling good about things with a new acquaintance. They continue on their way, happier to have helped someone out, and pleased to have met someone new they otherwise would have passed by. The fall of books and papers, though it would at first seem unhelpful, actually created a little opening that enabled two people to connect who would have passed each other by. So that’s a Little Opening: a small moment that invites connection. Small imperfections in daily life often create opportunities for connection that wouldn’t otherwise exist. If everything worked smoothly and efficiently all the time, we’d have fewer opportunities to connect. A bit of friction can be a blessing. In a Little Opening, you don’t have to help somebody, you don’t have to lend eggs to a neighbour, you don’t have to stop and give directions. But there’s an opportunity there, a little opening where you can. Dogs (and small children) are masters of Little Openings: being inappropriately friendly, running across someone’s path, waiting for them while they snuffle around, or simply walking dogs together. I’m sure you can think of a host of situations like this. Reflecting on them, I think these openings are of at least four different types. Moments of vulnerability When there’s an opportunity to help in a tough spot When you can’t work the parking machine Reaching something off a high shelf Getting a push chair with a baby up a flight of stairs Looking lost in a foreign city, holding a map upside down Helping with a car breakdown Letting someone know what stop this is on a train Picking up dropped shopping Offering your parking spot in a busy parking lot Borrowing eggs from your neighbour Helping work the printer Enforced cooperation When people have to interact to go on their way Waiting to let someone pass in a narrow space or on the stairs Pressing the buttons for others in an elevator Passing around a leaflet or sign-in sheet Moving down in a packed commuter train Clearing your things from a desk as someone sits down Sometimes connection comes not from kindness or vulnerability, but because people briefly have to coordinate with one another. Acts of kindness When an opportunity for generosity presents itself Holding the door for someone Offering a snack Sharing your umbrella Moving seats for someone at a theatre Giving away excess food at a picnic or camping Lending a tool to make someone’s task easier Micro-connections Connecting through a moment of shared understanding or shared inconvenience An old-fashioned cigarette break Catching someone's eye when a speaker says something you both think is silly/clever/funny Waiting for a bus or an appointment together Watching a beautiful sunset Joining in a round of happy birthday for another table at a restaurant A mutual groan as a train delay comes through the speaker Coordinating in a power cut Saying “Bless you” when someone sneezes Travel in a foreign country opens up a host of Little Openings. It’s much easier to connect with fellow travellers trying to figure things out abroad than it would be to connect with them at home. These little openings—through vulnerability, cooperation, kindness, or shared experience—form a little social bridge. Often they relax social barriers—don’t talk in the elevator, keep yourself to yourself, don’t make eye contact. I stop short of deliberately dropping my books and papers on the floor, but I don’t hesitate to accept help when offered, give it when it might be appreciated or exchange a glance of shared understanding. These small disruptions make my everyday life a little warmer and kinder. What Little Openings have you experienced? Brendan Leonard wrote an illustrated story about “When we hold the door” Related Ideas to Little Openings Also see: Be nice to tourists Learn kind words first in new countries Clear is kind Hanlon’s Razor The Fundamental Attribution Error Compliments are gifts Calm like a duck Equality and equity Front stage, back stage - life as theatreI’ve long been intrigued by the innocuous power of Little Openings. Say you are walking down a corridor with your hands full of papers and books. Before long, they start to slip. As you try to stabilise the falling papers, the rest go down in a clatter and flutter. However, a passerby in the corridor kneels down to help you pick everything up. They say hello. You say thank you. You each introduce yourselves, maybe exchange a laugh. You go on your way, books and papers in hand, feeling good about things with a new acquaintance. They continue on their way, happier to have helped someone out, and pleased to have met someone new they otherwise would have passed by. The fall of books and papers, though it would at first seem unhelpful, actually created a little opening that enabled two people to connect who would have passed each other by. So that’s a Little Opening: a small moment that invites connection. Small imperfections in daily life often create opportunities for connection that wouldn’t otherwise exist. If everything worked smoothly and efficiently all the time, we’d have fewer opportunities to connect. A bit of friction can be a blessing. In a Little Opening, you don’t have to help somebody, you don’t have to lend eggs to a neighbour, you don’t have to stop and give directions. But there’s an opportunity there, a little opening where you can. Dogs (and small children) are masters of Little Openings: being inappropriately friendly, running across someone’s path, waiting for them while they snuffle around, or simply walking dogs together. I’m sure you can think of a host of situations like this. Reflecting on them, I think these openings are of at least four different types. Moments of vulnerability When there’s an opportunity to help in a tough spot When you can’t work the parking machine Reaching something off a high shelf Getting a push chair with a baby up a flight of stairs Looking lost in a foreign city, holding a map upside down Helping with a car breakdown Letting someone know what stop this is on a train Picking up dropped shopping Offering your parking spot in a busy parking lot Borrowing eggs from your neighbour Helping work the printer Enforced cooperation When people have to interact to go on their way Waiting to let someone pass in a narrow space or on the stairs Pressing the buttons for others in an elevator Passing around a leaflet or sign-in sheet Moving down in a packed commuter train Clearing your things from a desk as someone sits down Sometimes connection comes not from kindness or vulnerability, but because people briefly have to coordinate with one another. Acts of kindness When an opportunity for generosity presents itself Holding the door for someone Offering a snack Sharing your umbrella Moving seats for someone at a theatre Giving away excess food at a picnic or camping Lending a tool to make someone’s task easier Micro-connections Connecting through a moment of shared understanding or shared inconvenience An old-fashioned cigarette break Catching someone's eye when a speaker says something you both think is silly/clever/funny Waiting for a bus or an appointment together Watching a beautiful sunset Joining in a round of happy birthday for another table at a restaurant A mutual groan as a train delay comes through the speaker Coordinating in a power cut Saying “Bless you” when someone sneezes Travel in a foreign country opens up a host of Little Openings. It’s much easier to connect with fellow travellers trying to figure things out abroad than it would be to connect with them at home. These little openings—through vulnerability, cooperation, kindness, or shared experience—form a little social bridge. Often they relax social barriers—don’t talk in the elevator, keep yourself to yourself, don’t make eye contact. I stop short of deliberately dropping my books and papers on the floor, but I don’t hesitate to accept help when offered, give it when it might be appreciated or exchange a glance of shared understanding. These small disruptions make my everyday life a little warmer and kinder. What Little Openings have you experienced? Brendan Leonard wrote an illustrated story about “When we hold the door” Related Ideas to Little Openings Also see: Be nice to tourists Learn kind words first in new countries Clear is kind Hanlon’s Razor The Fundamental Attribution Error Compliments are gifts Calm like a duck Equality and equity Front stage, back stage - life as theatre

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